TO ALL YOU FREAKS!

Life is tough! Well. People who’ve read my other blogs have heard enough of it. It sucks! You people know that, I’m happy one second and I’m dying the next. You may call me moody. Of course I am moody. But when life kicks you in the rear end every time you try to change, it makes you think “what the hell did you do to deserve this?”  But then some person, no idea who actually, said “Life is what you make of it”. And to that person I say “where the hell you come up with crap like that?” If life was actually what you make it, I’ll be sitting in one of the most prestigious law schools rather than a place where people think “You can’t be a part of anything.., you aren’t pretty enough! We’ll take the pretty girl with no brains”. (To all the people who are reading this and getting offended thinking she meant this for us, YES I do mean you people So STFU!).

Sometimes you give life one chance or may be two more. It does give you happiness while it fills the world with people full of themselves. As Eminem says, “I always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.” Same here, this is what I always wanted, to study law, a place far away from home, freedom from restrictions, a chance to live my life for me  (if I ever could actually do that) . And what do I get? A whole load of crap, I spend hours studying, preparing for stuff, my dreams where in this, and you wouldn't have seen any other person more dedicated to becoming a lawyer than me. (If people talked to me before I came here and the first few months, they would have known!) And what actually happens..? The pretty girl gets all the credit.

You live my life and then make your lame comments. And you know what, with the burden I carry around my neck all day, you wouldn’t last a second! You would break down and die with the amount of expectations people will have from you and I promise, you would want to kill yourself when the past catches up with you So all you freaks who are against my so-called views, there’s a reason why I vent my anger, and I have all the right to say what I please. You can live your moment now. But there will be a day, when you will be standing below me and the only thing I would say to all you haters is, “Look, who’s laughing now?”

"Bitch, I'm a pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your fuckin' head"

-LIL WAYNE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROOMANI...!!

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....!!


You're all grown up! may all your wishes come true and hope you be whatever you want to be.


Roomani, your the greatest person i've ever met, You've been there when times get tough, in all the joy and happiness and sometimes just when i need a hug


i know i've done stuff which in any sense isn't good.. I missed your party, I've told you to leave me alone when all you did try was to comfort me.. I apologize for every single act. I try to be brave, i put on a wall around me so that no one can hurt me anymore. But you always find a way to make a door and enter


Just be who you are..because as Bruno Mars says.., "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change...Cause you're amazing, just the way you are...And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while...Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are...!!"




Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest.




I LOVE YOU!!




LOADS OF WISHES AND FUN.

XOXOXO

Your true and silent friend.

NO ONE CARES..!!

Why does a person care? For the love of the other person, the genuine concern over that person… you know what.. BULLSHIT! It’s a f**kin’ lie. No one cares!! No one gives a damn what you want, who you are and what you want to be! That is REALITY,  instead of being a complaint box about it, you can live your life not bothering about what anyone says or does!

Well that’s easy only in paper. You were born to care about others, ask for some love from them. And when you don’t get what you actually need, it kills you. It’s like falling into a deep vast trench of emptiness, awaiting your impending death but then, death, like every other aspect of your life doesn’t want you. You’re stuck in the emptiness. That is, the worst thing you can ever feel.

All I ever wanted,(yeah, I sound a bit desperate) was someone to care for me, someone to hug me at times of need and tell me, ”Pratz, I’m there for you, I’ll make these nightmares go away” or a simple “I’m there for you” to take the pain away.

When you’ve lived your life with pain and suffering A single world of care will be like a hope, a hope to hold on to, A belief that there is light at the end of every dark tunnel, a belief that after every storm there is a rainbow.

But reality says different, it says “No one cares, No one needs you, you were born alone and you were meant to be that way.

“I’m just the kid that no one cares about, you just got to keep screaming till they hear you out...!!”

I WALK THIS LONELY ROAD

"I walk this empty road,only one that I have ever known...". This is one line, which I can't get out of my head. Well, after 2 months here in Ahmedabad, the reality which I tried so hard to avoid, It is back to haunt me. Yes, I am alone again, I may be surrounded by dozens of known faces, yet inside, the emptiness fills. All I ever wanted, when I left Chennai was to "Never be let alone inside again". But i guess, my dreams are far from reality. This place is filled with the one thing I always feared, To be judged by how one looks, or what one wears rather than who they actually are. The real me, is just another shadow in the place filled with darkness- INVISIBLE

Well, this isn't a story about me.. but a peculiar story about two girls (peculiar because it doesn't have a ending..). Let me name them Atty and Bitty (I Know weird names.. couldn't think of anything else). Atty comes from a place where people had wealth, welfare and happiness with having money.Whereas, Bitty comes from a land where family comes first. You may think they are people so very different from each other- True, in a sense, But they did have one thing in common-love for attention, from their male counterparts. I met  them along. during my journey to attain freedom from my loneliness. Atty was the first one to meet me ,sticking by me , or you can say, using me until she found another flower to suck dry like a be. She wanted it all, fame,fortune and attention, She was rude and selfish filled with self consciousness and self pity

Bitty, the lesser known individual, was the most sweetest, bubbliest person you can ever meet.She was fun to listen to,but one can never be heard when she's around. But one thing corrupted her, the one thing both Atty and Bitty had in common, the word which in a bad way changes the whole world - ATTENTION

I guess I had to get involved in their lives, just to get more of the self-loathsomeness. I guess, I live by the lines of the song...

"I am just the kid, that no one cares about,

You just have to keep screaming till they hear you out....!!" 

A LETTER TO DAD

Dear dad,

I LOVE YOU.

The time I’ve spent away from you and mom... it made me realize, that dad, what you’ve gone through, to make sure all my dreams came true, I know I can never repay what you’ve done for me. I’ll try dad, I’ll try to be the best. I’ll make you proud of me one day. I’ll make sure you can tell the world with your head up high that yes, she is my daughter.

I know dad, I’ve made a whole lot of mistakes and shattered all your dreams for my selfish reasons. I’m sorry dad. I know I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that. You have always been my inspiration. My light of hope in this eternal world of darkness, Even as the time gets tough I’ll know I have to carry on for it’s you and mom for whom I make this journey.

I know I’ve never showed it out. But dad I do respect you, for whatever decisions you’ve taken. That has made me who I am today. Where ever I am dad and whatever I may be doing , remember one thing, I am doing it all for you.

I promise dad. I’ll be a better daughter, I promise to be what you always wanted me to be. I promise to always make you keep your head up high. And I promise dad, I’m always by your side, no matter what life brings in front of us.

Dad, I Love you and will be there for you no matter what. You’re the strongest person on this earth dad, and however bad I may have behaved all this while, please do forgive me.

With loads of love,

Your loving daughter.

Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad
~ Anne Geddes

THE LAW OF GOLF

The game of golf, like every other aspect of life, is often subject to the vagaries of law. As a golfer myself, I decided to make the connection between the game I love and the subject that I am pursuing. Well, I didn’t have to look far. Golf is a game filled with intricate rules and regulations. What is LAW? In general, a rule of being or of conduct, established by an authority able to enforce its will; a controlling regulation; the mode or order according to which an agent or a power acts. So the rules and regulations of the game is nothing but the Law of the game.Violating "the law" of golf can have serious consequences.

The rules are so seriously applied in this game that The United States Golf Association (U.S.G.A) and The Royal and Ancient Golf club of Saint Andrew (yes, it is a name of a club) write, interpret and revise the rules every 4 years!

The game of golf has rules ranging from the minutest detail of the size of the ball till the huge ones which result in disqualifications!.

Here’s an instance, the rule of golf state that, “You must play the ball as it lies” which in simple terms means that you cannot modify, or do something that affects the position of the ball in play except under certain circumstances. The penalty for not complying with this rule is “you’ll lose the hole in the case of match play or incur a two stroke penalty” (Trust me! That’s like the worst thing possible; it ruins your entire game)

The connection to law? In law of torts, there is a breach of a legal right. Let’s say without the breach an individual just like the golf ball remains in the same position. And as a liability a defendant faces a penalty or a suit for damages like a unsuspecting or intentional golfer penalized for negligence and breach of duty

Therefore, each rule of golf will have a way into the law of the land. 

That’s why they say “the golfer who follows all the rules of the game must be one hell of a lawyer” 

LIFE @ AHMEDABAD

A new place, a new beginning. That was the only thing in my mind when I landed in Ahmedabad. My life was uneventful and I was going to change that. So what difference does it make that I got 92% in my boards or I screwed up my CLAT. This was my destiny and I am here in Ahmedabad, Institute of Law, Nirma University. This is where I belong. Little did I expect that this one month is going to change my life forever. There are different types of people you meet in Ahmedabad,(I am not stereotyping, this is only my view! I am open to criticism)

1.  The people who revolve their life around “STATUS”, a single word which breaks or makes relationships. The only thing they are worried about is who they are, where they are from and their status in collage. In simple terms, whether they are cool or geeky, a stud or a nerd. They tend to stick to people they think are applicable according to their in-built rules.

2.  

    The second group- I’ll term them the “GOOD ONES”, they are really rare and I believe one can find a silverback gorilla in the jungles of Africa (they are extremely rare!) than find a person from this category. They’ll be helpful, kind and they are the ones who’ll be there no matter what. These are the type of people you need in your life especially if you don’t know Guajarati or Hindi (like me) to help you through

3.  

    The biggest group found here are the “WANNA-BE’S”. They are everywhere and there’s a new one born every day. They want to be cool or they want to be nerdy. They want to be noticed or they want to be popular. They are the ones you want to avoid. They’ll eat away at you or just back talk about you to make it big .

   

    I observe people. I love to read them and see their outcome of their decisions. Not exactly a trait of a lawyer but that’s just me. Making or breaking relationships are a part of collage life. I’ve learnt a lot in this one month here. And it has given me an insight on what to expect out of the 5 years am going to stay here.  

WHY LAW?

I started my first day as a law student in the Institute of law, Nirma University with huge expectations and unknown anxieties. It started off with a truly inspirational first class by Prof. N.R Madhav Menon, Founder of National Law School Bangalore. Then was the formal introductions by all my batch mates to the teachers. There was one thing common with all of these. A question put up not only by Prof. Madhav Menon but by the teachers as well.


WHY LAW?


Each and every single student was asked to share with class why he/she wanted to do law in his/her life. After all we were in a Law school, This question was expected. But the answers were not. In my class there were people with a different view of the subject and what they wanted to achieve out of it. Most of them went on to answer that they chose law as it is a lucrative career and sure it does bring in fat pay tags. There were a few going into services to help develop our country like the judicial services, IAS, IRS and so on. There were a few going into the field of litigation mostly because a member of their family had already set up a decent law firm for themselves and most probably they will join the family business. And there were a few, I tell you a real few that wanted to use Law as a method to help people. 


I was one of the few.


My reason to do law is purely incidental. I always never thought of law as a career option for me as i'm not much of a speaker. What started off as a mere research on the net, made me stumble on the enormous world of Human Rights. According to me, Every individual on the face of the earth has their own set of rights. They may not know it as such but when in time of need or when their given rights are violated they need to stand up to defend it. People need to be educated what their rights mean to them and how helpful it can be. 
My mission is to help people. People like my mother who has suffered her 18 years of marriage just because she couldn't afford an attorney, people like naina, a girl of 15 yrs who has been denied education due to an medical leave of 15 days and was prohibited to enter back into school and now has a career of domestic chores in people's house. You can hear a huge number of stories like these but only a handful of people fighting for it.


I, Prathiksha Ravi want to not only help these people but also educate them about their rights so they need not let their children go through what they went through.


It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
Martin Luther King, Jr. 

PUT AN END TO UNTOUCHABILITY.

According to the Constitution of India, Untouchabilty is an offence punishable with a fine or imprisonment in jail for two days. But the practice of untouchability continues and Dalits continue to live outside villages, excommunicated from society. They are denied entry into temples, they are not allowed to share community wells, they are forced to drink water from separate glasses in some rural cafes, and they are frequently attacked or abused if any sign of defiance is shown. This reluctance stems partially from ignorance and also from peer protection.


The Prevention of Atrocities act (POA) is a tacit acknowledgement by the Indian government that caste relations are defined by violence, both incidental and systemic.  According to a 1999 study, nearly a quarter of those government officials charged with enforcing the Act are unaware of its existence.

Worse still are the roles of schools and teachers in perpetuating untouchability and sowing the seeds of caste-related discrimination in young minds. The Dalit children are often discouraged by teachers and fellow students belonging to caste Hindu social groups. In many schools Dalit pupils were not allowed to share water with caste Hindus. To punish an erring or naughty Dalit boy teachers scold him by calling him by his caste name. If the teacher decides that the boy needed a beating as punishment the task was assigned to another Dalit boy. There is also systematic refusal of admission to Dalits in certain schools particularly at the plus two levels.

In some villages during the temple festivals Dalits are supposed to stay hidden from caste Hindus. The two-tumbler system under which Dalits and non-Dalits are served tea in different vessels is still prevalent in some teashops. In some eateries they are compelled to sit on the floor.

What Should Be Done?

Both upper castes and the lower castes need liberation from the oppressive religious ideology which is at the heart of this terrible situation. The Dalits themselves need economic self-sufficiency without which they will be unable to survive. Any long-term solution to this deeply entrenched problem will require a social, cultural and moral transformation of society.

The basis of everyone's rights lies not in their religious identity or affiliation but in their humanity. Dalits need education and training in Human Rights. As victims of superstition, they need exposure to rational thinking. The succour and superstition of another religion will do little to change the lot of the Dalits. The problem of untouchability is more than an issue of law and order - it is a deep rooted, millennia-old malady that afflicts society. Unless the Dalits have belief in themselves and are empowered to assert their own humanity, unless they themselves discover their inherent human dignity, they will continue to be where they are - on the extreme margins of society. But empowerment of the Dalits will can only happen when their fractured movement unites on the basis of democratic principles.

Emancipation is a personal achievement, and the victim needs to enact his or her own emancipation. Others - be they Humanists or Hindus or Christians or Muslims - can only help as facilitators. And the facilitators must remember that the Dalits need education, not pity, justice, not charity.

"God never made man that he may consider another man as an untouchable."- MAHATMA GANDHI




P.S  THIS BLOG CONSISTS OF REFERENCE MATERIAL.

Chennai

Well, I guess it was high time I wrote a beloved note in fond memory of the place I was born in...CHENNAI. Spent 18 years of my life there. The best places in Chennai are not your typical tourists spots but the places which people know little of. Chennai being the fourth most populous metropolitan area and the fifth most populous city in India, it is also the world's 36th largest metropolitan area.
Those are the typical facts you come to know about the city.. Lets take a look from my perspective :

1. The best way to travel through Chennai is by the local buses and trains. I hate  the crowds too,but you learn big lessons and meet the widest variety of people.(P.S It helps to smile rather than stare)


2.The best food of Chennai is not what you get in posh restaurants, but what you call "the galli food" or street food in English.. Walk the roads of places like Nanganallur, Marina beach or the Elliot's road to sample the best cuisine ever..(At least according to me )


3. The best place to hang out with your friends is the escalators of the big time malls in Chennai and the trial rooms of Lifestyle. Some of my cherished moments are from there.


4. The more you say you hate Chennai the more you actually fall in love with it.


Well this is just some of the few reasons why i love chennai so much. I miss it. Nothing to compare it with. Its still one of the best places in my list.


LOVE YOU CHENNAI..!

FIRST STEP TO EDUCATE THE GIRL CHILD

Education is a fundamental right of every human being. Every single child in this world has a right to learn and to be educated. Most parents feel that only the male child of the family deserves an education and their female counterparts are deemed to learn only their domestic chores. THE RIGHT TO EDUCATION is a right provided to all children irrespective of their sex, caste, creed and social status uptil the age of 14.

ALL GIRLS HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN EDUCATION

This right is essential not only for girls to grow and learn, but also so that they are able to be independent and make their own choices in their lives.They should be given an equal chance to pursue their dreams and fulfill their ambitions just like their brothers and husbands. Most middle classes and the upper class of the society understand this necessity of educating their daughters. But, the situation in the lower classes of society is unfortunately the opposite. Girls are kept at homes till they attain their puberty and are  married off to lessen the burden of the family.


The only way to achieve a good literacy rate among the female society is to give them an equal opportunity to realize and work for their goals and ambitions.The first step:

SAFE SCHOOLS

Schools are not just places to learn and realize potential - some are also places of fear and violence. Some girls face violence at school at the hands of teachers, school staff or other students.Violence stops girls going to school. Girls must be able to pursue their education in an environment which is:

1.Safe

2.Respectful

3.Non-Discriminatory 

The Institution which is set up to educate the masses should be a safe haven rather than a place of fear and violence.              

"Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of settling well, without further expense to anybody. " 
— Jane Austen

ENOUGH.!!

ABUSE in whichever form either physical or emotional is a crime against human nature or in other terms crime against humanity.According to Wikipedia, Abuse is the improper usage or treatment for a bad purpose, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit, physical or verbal maltreatment. There are so many types of abuses that a person comes across. The most common being the physical and verbal abuse which brings along with it the most famous emotional abuse.Every person in this world has gone through abuse at some point of their life. May it be verbal,peer,emotional or physical abuse,It's time we stood up and said ENOUGH....!! 

The story I am about to tell you is about a woman who plays the most important role in my life. She was born in a small town to a big family. They weren't a rich family but had a happy and contented life loving each other. Even now when I look back in their past, the love they had for each other never fails to bring a tear in my eye. The girl, the eldest of the family,grew up all too soon. Got employed to support her family.She,like every other girl in the world had dreams of finding her prince charming one day. And she did, little did she know, that the person was going to change her life forever. 
She met Mr.X when she was all of 18 years old. She was new in the business and way too naive to notice the seriousness of it. Maybe her good looks and brought him closer to her and all the promises he made were sure hell working on her. Just in a blink of the moment, both of them were married against all the objections. Little was she prepared for what was coming next..


The look of utter shock that showed in her face when she came to know he was already married to another women is a look she still remembers to date. She wanted to leave, run away from the mistake she had done by believing a man who was but a stranger to her.. Well. as they say fate just has something in store for everyone.. She was pregnant. She didn't want a child to be borne in this condition where, her husband didn't even want to let go of his first wife.The more she wanted to run away the more she was tortured and threatened  that she will lose her baby and he will take away all that was hers. She wasn't rich enough for a legal battle and her parents. they could do nothing but just stand in the sidelines and watch hopelessly. 


The years rolled by, she was abused verbally by her in-laws and beaten up by her husband and his wife. She couldn't see her own baby for three years. She was hospitalized with bruises, a broken jaw and fractured ribs just to name a few. And now. 18 years later, The situation is just as same as before with a few background changes.You may ask why she didn't fight back..?,why she put up with it for so long..? She tried her best to live everyday by looking at her daughter grow up. Her happiness was in her daughter's smile This is her story.


There are so many stories like this that you find across the globe. My aim is to help women like these get over their pain and stand up and fight. 'cause even a small step makes a huge impact..


STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO SAY ENOUGH...!!!

BE THE CHANGE

RANG DE BASANTI -In three words,  "An awesome movie." The story is about a British documentary filmmaker who asks a group of five young men to act in her film. They agree, but after they begin filming a friend of theirs is killed in a fighter aircraft crash, with government corruption appearing to be the root cause of the incident. This event radicalizes them from being carefree to passion-driven individuals who are determined to avenge his death.


I loved the movie. It shows the different ways you can choose to live in India. You can either be silent and go with the flow of things, or stand up, take responsibility  and make a change. In the 1800s, a group of radical Indians decided not to stay quiet and suffer in the hands of the British. They stood up for their rights and made a change, or as you can say, died trying to.At that time, The British were stronger but their single act made a hell of a bang, which in turn started out the independence movement. These small revolutions made us they way we are now.. free and independent.


In today's time,do we actually think the way the freedom fighters did 80 years back...? NO, We have all become the silent types letting people decide what we ought to do and what not to. The hard efforts of our freedom fighters have gone down the drain, as we have gone back to the same old life.. governed by someone. We maybe not governed by the British anymore but we are still governed by corruption , scandals , money minded politicians... WE NEED A CHANGE..!!

My dad always says, You can never change the system..It has always been that way and it will remain that way, You have to adjust yourself to go with the system. I disagree, The system was built by people like us, We elect politicians into power and in a democratic country like ours we have the supreme power.. It is our duty to make sure we use it responsibly. We have to stand up and change it.. You may ask what difference does it make, India will always be like that. No country is perfect.. We have to make it perfect. 


Gandhi said once. " Whatever you do in your life may be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."


I have a dream to be the change.. Make a difference. People laugh at me now including my own father. saying you can never be the change, but then they laughed at Gandhi too. You may call me cocky and over confident.. If I am given the chance I wont sit back and let it pass. I will BE THE CHANGE.


"BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS"

Prasad. a.k.a THE RAPPER

The most funniest thing selva told me about this dude was his famous dialouge "YO.. WORD, YO" So my first interpretation of it was He's a wanna-be RAPPER...!! yet when I talked to him the very next day.. found out he has transformed into an emo, listening up to rascal flatts. 

This is just one among the stories you will hear about the guy.. PRASAD. He's fun, kind , helpful blah blah.. all the same stuff you hear about everyone.. You may ask, what's so special about him that I decided to dedicate a blog entry for him..?? He's one of my BEST FRIEND FOREVERs . And when it comes to my BFFs they are special, no matter what. And not to mention the fact that he wanted one written * wink*.

We study in the same school and we are active FB users. He's the kinda guy you can trust with your life. And mind you, you don't find a lot of those  these days. He's like... ummm.. let me think..,  ROSS GELLER, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. character..  He uses a lot of "umm's" "eh's" and all like typical stuff  ross geller does . I never imagined I would actually be friends with the guy but now he's the advice guy or my bestie as you may call it.

Life introduces you to a wide range of people but I'm glad  I met someone like him.

To Prasad, with love

this one's just for you...!! :)

I Love You,Mom

Today is mother's day and ironically me and mom were watching kabhi kushi kabhi gham on TV  The theme about this movie is "It's all about loving your family.." It made me think. In the time of technology and the third person love in the form of boyfriends and girlfriends, are we really giving the love to our parents. Most people may say "Yeah, Obviously..!! We love them. They are the idols of our life" If you do, then great.. you're the model kid every parent asks for. But if you're like most of the world who doesn't, then think again.


Moms are the life force in this tough world. Or is it just a stereotype.? I may not be the right person to say this. As I'm the type of person who says she loves her mom the most and yet fails to show her that love. I may not be the type of  person who shows her love by a hug or words. But deep down inside me. I love my mom. And I may be screaming at her or throwing tantrums all over the place and hurting my mom the most. But she knows I love her . And she is the only inspiration.. The only string of support in this world.Without whom I would have been long gone. She is not only my mom but my best friend.


How many people in the world share that kind of a relationship with their mothers. To call them your best friend. Tell all your deep dark secrets to them. I share that kind of a relationship with my mom.

A mother suffers 8 months just to see the beauty of creation and has a sense of relief when she hears her baby's first cry from afar. She takes the first steps of your life with you. She learns your moods and your looks before even you can understand them. She shows what's right and what's wrong. Even however big a mistake you might have done, she is there by your side to steer you in the right path again. She should be the reason for your smile and happiness.


I LOVE YOU MOM. I'll always be by your side no matter what happens. I'm doing all this for you. Thank you for being there for me..


Mother is the one we count on for the things that matter most of all.
- Katherine Butler Hathaway, "The Journals and Letters of the Little Locksmith" 

Losing yourself in the music...

For the past one week , the only song that's been on my mind is LOSE YOURSELF - EMINEM. The guy is a genius. He's great. All the other rappers, mostly rap about money, girls or fun. Whereas, Eminem raps about life, it's hardships and the pain and glory. He has been my life support through these tough times. When I mean tough times, I mean the pain and agony of parental pressure , exam pressure and all those sleepless nights.. He's there to tell me life isn't easy and this opportunity comes once in a lifetime. 

Yeah, he's true about this opportunity coming once in a life time. My life depends on it. I wrote my AILET test yesterday. Am terrified with the idea, the idea that , I may have screwed it up. I worked so hard and that dream going *poof* in front of your eyes is the worst feeling one can ever have to go through. I wish I did different, have a time machine to go back a few days and go prep again for it. But. the idea, the so-called wish of mine is so absurd. 


Success is my only mothaf****n' option, failure's not


Failure is not an option. I want a life of freedom, respect and fame. I need to be successful to prove to the world that my life was worth living and not just a waste of space. That I'm a achiever not a person who gives up. Life has been hard, but I ain't giving up that easy. 


I was playin' in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage


I have more two more tests left to prove it out. I have huge dreams and my opportunity to prove them has come. And I'm going seize it no matter what it takes... If life is hard , I'll try even harder. This is my life. I won't sit in the shadows and let people take my decisions for me any more. I'm here to stay and not to walk away....!!!


This world is mine for the taking, make me queen


LOVE YOU EMINEM

In love with your best friend..

You know what... the worst place to be in is to be in love with your own best friend.. (I mean a guy..!! sheesh u weird thinking people..!!)  You know.. the weird feeling u get when u talk to them.. I mean it in a good way. The automatic smile in your face. The sound of their voice to brighten up your day..How many people actually feel that way in today's hush hush world. LOVE - a magical feeling. I never believed in it. I'm being a hypocrite just for writing this blog.. but as they say.. "When u fall.. u fall hard face down.." 


Okay, back to the best friend story.. have you people ever seen "My Best Friend's Wedding" or "Made of Honour"...? in My Best Friend's Wedding.. Julia Roberts falls in love with her best friend and goes all out to try and break up his wedding. ( in which she sadly is , unsuccessful) and in Made of Honour the guy Patrick Demsey, becomes the maid of honour to his girl best friend who he is also in love with.. I am in the same situation.. That is. I am in love with my best friend but I practically have no guts to tell him. 


He's the best guy you can ever have.. but he's the only thing that is unreachable. I know it's inappropriate.. but sometimes when your head and heart is in conflict. You tend to lean towards your heart even however stupid it seems. I may never fall in love again. Not that I care 'cuz I love being alone. I build up walls all around me and he comes and breaks them down. Man...!! I hate that I love him so. But thanks to my so obvious no-confidence self, I decided to go the Julia Roberts way and let him be.. with the one he loves.. He'll always be my best buddy, the 3 am friend in times of need. But when time comes and it does become difficult.. The best thing to do would be to let go.


Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding: " Getting what you deserve is totally unfair. "

The pressure of being a teen.

So starting into your teens is nothing new.. everyone has gone through it.. what makes it weird..?
the agony of acne and boys (and girls if you're a boy) and all the madness of school , peer pressure, being liked, standing up for what u believe in even though it isn't really your thing... All people who pass their teens and 20 years later when they have kids themselves say it is just a breeze, a passing cloud, nothing that significant. But ask a teen like me.. what it really means like to be a teen and we could fill pages in a book...

My story ain't so different either. I come from a so-called middle class family with a deep history filled with skeletons, some you wish never existed at all.I was another "geek" the so-called term labeled in your head if you plan to study rather than get drunk and party like a wild animal.

Being a teen, You get your heart broken . back stabbed by the people you trust yet.. you don't dare to say anything to anyone since the only reply you'll get is. " hey.. it's your life...!! stop being a complaint box and live with it" We've cried our heads out in school restrooms and jumped like  monkeys in the corridors if something great happens.. we've all been through it.. hell.. the whole world has.. what's new..

Everyone is given a chance to prove themselves in this point of their life.. most don't.. referring to people who live in a land of make believe... who think life is perfect and it will stay that way.. I'm referring here to people like me who have been labeled a failure by their parents and been given an option of fighting it out to break free from the restraints or get buried six feet below. So to all the people think teenage is the best time of your so-called life.. great for you. but the story isn't the same for half the population around the world.