WHAT DO I NEED?

I lived my life, living on what should be done and what should not. Did whatever everyone wanted me to do, fulfilled their expectations.. or at least in the process of trying to. In all these years never did anyone ask, “What do you want?” if anyone could read my mind, to see what I see, to feel what I feel. Ah, well, that’s just a small little hope. Everyone says I’m different, I like being alone. Little do they know that it kills me inside every time I’m left to do what I want to do. They say she hardly talks or is boringly dull. Little do they know am screaming inside with wanting to say so many things but no one to listen. They say I work way too hard and hardly have any fun. Little do they know, there are things in this world I need to change and I’m trying my best to get them done. I may say to the world am good, am fine and am better off alone, but what I really mean is am dying, am lonely and want you to hear my screams. I wanted someone to walk with me in this lonely road, someone to be my flashlight in the darkness, listen to my silent screams. All I ever wanted was to be someone that my parents were proud of, be the one you can lean on, be someone who cares and will be by your side at all times. I wanted happiness, never to be left alone, to love and be loved, to be wanted by someone, anyone. I know my wants will never come true, but in a different life, maybe I’ll be whatever I want to be, the princess of my own world. Only if dreams could come true. I know I’ve made mistakes and I know I’ve got to pay the price. But if I could wish for anything in this world, I would never wish to live this life again.

"If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done"